This is to all of us (myself included) who need to hear that you’ve got this right now.
As we finish out what’s been a real dumpster fire of a year (byeee, 2020), I want to leave us with a gentle reminder to our Compassionate Parts. For those of you who don’t know me, I LOVE to label things. Not in the label-maker sort of way, but in naming and identifying feelings, thoughts, and parts of ourselves. In my work as an eating disorder clinician, I also help clients to do this in order to better understand what’s going on internally. I’d love to share with you a bit about this process.
To start, it might be helpful to build some sensory awareness. If accessible to you right now, start by slowly and intentionally peeking around your current space. What do you see? Smell? Hear? Taste? Touch? If safe, you might turn your awareness inward to observe any sensations in your body. Do you notice any feelings? If you had to label what you notice, how might you describe it? Whatever you come up with is perfect.
Next, let’s start to think about some Parts of yourself that tend to show up on the reg’. For most of us, that might look something like a team of Eating Disorder Part and/or Critical Part, Logical Part, and Compassionate Part. You might have some parts that are louder or quieter, more obvious or more subtle, listed here or labeled on your own.
Now we want to get as specific as we can about who these parts are, what they want/do, how they serve/harm us, and more! Sometimes it helps to personify them and think about what they might look or sound like if they were a character in a movie or play. It could be helpful to think about them inside your “house” (mind or body) or “on stage.” How do they act when they show up? Get creative with it!
If you’re having a hard time visualizing these Parts or want some examples, here are a few ideas:
When Critical Part shows up, it sounds like a drill sergeant. It yells and pushes me and doesn’t allow me to be nice to myself at all. It’s hard to function when Critical Part is present because it’s so loud.
ED Part feels like a dark cloud hanging over me, blocking me off from any warmth I might get from family/friends, nourishing and nurturing myself, etc.
Logical Part wears glasses and is also fact-checking everything. He’s sort of a know it all, but isn’t condescending. He tends to show up in response to my Critical Part and allows me to cut myself some slack.
If you’re struggling with Compassionate Part, you’re not alone! Compassion is often something we all have a hard time gifting to ourselves, especially those who struggle with eating disorders. If it feels hard to imagine who Compassionate Part is, borrow it from someone else! :)
Can you think of some kind things others have said to you in times of struggle? Maybe a specific phrase or act of kindness? Is there an act of compassion someone has done for you, like a rub on the back when you were sick as a child or a hot beverage made for you when you were sad? You can also borrow them from yourself: What acts or words of kindness have you gifted people in your life? Start a list and notice what feels warm and tender. That’s your compassionate part!
Now that we’ve reflected a bit on a few Parts, take a moment to check in with yourself again and see what you notice. What’s it like to label these shifting characters within you? What might it be like to invite in Compassionate Part? What would it look like to practice noticing or even trying out actions with Compassionate Part?
As we continue to travel through the trauma of the COVID pandemic, I hope you can find ways to be gentle with yourself and invite in Compassionate Part. For all who are currently struggling, I see you. You got this!
Your ability to be compassionate is your power.
Your ability to be compassionate is your gateway to healing.
Rooting for you, always.
Send me an email or find me on social media to stay in touch. Want to learn more about what it’s like to work with a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders? Schedule your free discovery call to chat about nutrition therapy!