Whether you’re feeling dysregulated AF or just curious about the nervous system, welcome!
Ok but first, what does dysregulated even mean?
For many of us, we can alternate between three main areas of regulation within our nervous systems: hyper-arousal, hypo-arousal, and some sort of balance between the two. Hyper-arousal might look/feel something like high anxiety, a sense of fight or flight mode, like things are moving way too fast, and there might be a lot of mind chatter or sense of chaos. On the flip side, hypo-arousal might look/feel like increased ambivalence or apathy, a sense of faint or freeze mode, feeling more tired or depressed, and less interest in taking action. For those of us who might be newer to emotional awareness, body awareness, or navigating trauma/distress/etc., it can be common to bounce between the two instead of settling into the middle ground. This middle space can also be referred to as your window of tolerance - the stimuli, emotions, etc. you can handle without feeling pushed into either direction of dysregulation (image below).
Why do our bodies (ie nervous systems) respond like this? Our minds might be in 2021, but our hardware systems are still stuck in the cave person days. Our nervous system literally cannot tell the difference between being called on when you don’t know the answer and being chased by a tiger in the jungle. When we have too much stimuli, our system gets overwhelmed and reacts by shutting down high cognitive thinking and pushing us into fight, flight, freeze, or faint (and likely some others I’m missing).
There is a LOT more to say about the window of tolerance and types of arousal, but to keep it simple this topic will be broken into parts. Part I will focus on hyper-arousal and some suggestions on how to regulate yourself within this place. Each section of this post (and following posts) is intended to be taken slowly, with plenty of time to reflect, come back, change your mind, and re-write as often as necessary. There is no shame in the work not feeling accessible, and hopefully there can be some trust fostered within your body to know what feels right and what doesn’t as you go through the prompts.
To start:
If you resonated with the description of hyper-arousal above (high anxiety, a sense of fight or flight mode, like things are moving way too fast, a lot of mind chatter or sense of chaos), let’s start to get more specific! If accessible, start drawing or writing out what hyper-arousal feels like for you. Are there tell-tale signs when you’re in this place? If your nervous system could talk, what would it say here? What thoughts and/or actions seem to show up when you’re feeling this way? How does your eating disorder show up here?
As you continue to explore what hyper-arousal feels like for you, keep in mind that the information will likely continue to evolve as we grow and learn. If you’re struggling to come up with descriptors, give yourself some time and compassion. Now that it’s been brought to your attention it’s more likely that you’ll be able to recognize some signs of hyper-arousal next time.
Next:
If it’s accessible to take another step in this exploration, let’s consider the idea of traveling between your window of tolerance and hyper-arousal. It’s a two-way street! There are likely thoughts, actions, emotions, and events that increase your likelihood of reaching a hyper-aroused state, just like there are thoughts, actions, emotions, and events that allow you to travel back to a more regulated state.
Take some time to reflect and write out this “road map” between hyper-arousal and regulation. It’s probably easier to start with things that feel more obvious, for example “When my boss dumps a lot of information on me at once, I feel overwhelmed and more anxious.” This example alone might not automatically put you over your window of tolerance, but combined with other high-stimuli events it might land you in hyper-arousal land. It’s important to mention that for those of us who identify as Highly Sensitive People (HSP) and/or are recovering and healing, the window of tolerance is often shorter or narrower. As you continue to gain skills and practice, regulating yourself will become easier.
Other ideas:
Just like there are things that can impact dysregulation, there are things that bring us back within the window of tolerance. As a reminder, these might be thoughts, actions, emotions, and events - or more! Here are a list of some art projects, reflections, actions, and books to consider. As always, please include your team of clinicians in your self-discovery work and take all the time that you need and want.
Make a list of activities to re-regulate yourself. Ideally you’re able to do these in 10 minutes or less, and you have a way to keep them with you (on your phone or otherwise). Some examples might be: sing a song, dance to a favorite song, take a forward fold or other stretches, read a few pages of a book, snuggle a pet, eat a snack, breathe deeply or loudly, move away from a distress area/object (like your desk while you WFH).
Set a timer on your phone for a short amount of time (like 3-10 minutes) when you’ve noticed yourself feeling activated. Make sure the timer sound is something pleasant - not that fog horn alarm! Use the time to do something from your list :)
Create a calming glitter globe (that doubles as a timer).
Name that you are distressed. Out loud to yourself, in a text to a friend, to your pet… label it!
Read Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s book on Burnout, and/or listen to them talk about it on Brené Brown’s podcast here.
Journal through prompts about your body experiences with Fariha Róisín’s book, Being In Your Body.
Practice reflection skills and journal through fun, thoughtful prompts in Meera Lee Patel’s book, Start Where You Are.
Stay tuned for part II, where we’ll dig into hyper-arousal and more on the nervous system.
Rooting for you, always.
Send me an email or find me on social media to stay in touch. Want to learn more about what it’s like to work with a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders? Schedule your free discovery call to chat about nutrition therapy!